You’re a harmonizer; you want harmony above all else! You work incredibly hard to make sure others feel comfortable and included—often to your own detriment. While your goals are noble, your purpose in life is not to be a slave for others! This desire to include others is a primary motivator for you. To create a healthier balance, use discernment to determine what the most significant, most important thing for you to work on at this moment, without compromising your ability to take care of yourself. 

For many Harmonizers there is a fear of letting others see your dark side. Because of this fear you use actions as a protection. If you are doing something, anything for others, maybe they won’t see these parts you guard. You will go to great lengths and change who you are around others to protect yourself. A better solution is to learn to accept this dark side, by understanding its true purpose and value.

One of the gifts you were designed with is the ability to discern the value of people, ideas, and organizations. You can help guide people to recognizing their worth, and you do so in many ways. This same skill can be used to value yourself. It is much healthier to accept your whole self than it is to burn yourself out hiding from the world. 

It’s likely that you feel like others would understand you if you were able to just speak your mind. When you feel as though they don’t get you, you may try in vain to explain yourself while still trying to avoid conflict. If they could just hear you, you feel like everything would be alright. All of this talking, however, could just be a cover for the deeply held anxiety that people who don’t agree with you will walk away. You might feel like you have a lifetime of evidence that proves this is how things are. Your biggest worry is if they don’t understand you, they will stop caring, mistreat you, and leave. 

This belief has become so entrenched that part of you worries you’ll never find love (platonic or romantic) in life; however, this couldn’t be further from the truth! You, my friend, are not unlovable. I invite you to consider how you treat yourself. The way you treat yourself is the foundation of how others will treat you! This doesn’t mean you should isolate yourself from others in your life, thinking “I don’t need anyone, I’ll love myself.”  However, it is imperative that you build a solid base of self-love. Do you want others to treat you the way you treat yourself? 

The value you bring to others is not in what you are called to do for them, but in how you view and value them. You enable people to see themselves in a whole new way. Although this is easy for you, you should not discount its value to others just because of how naturally it comes. This is a part of your zone of genius, and it’s critical that you share it with the world. 

By standing in the power of your design and of your desire, you can create powerful connections with others. You doubt this, though; the risks involved with fully accepting yourself seem too great. In reality, a Harmonizer’s ability to connect to people will only grow in proportion to how completely you accept yourself. You can either continue to slave for others, burning yourself out by hiding, or you can take a stand and live the life you desire. The first step is to silence the inner skeptic with the power of how you are designed. When you do this, everything around you will seem to fall into place.

Find out more about your design at www.endotype.com 

You may just get the permission you need to be YOU.